The Practice of Engage
Love Is Willing to Enter the Conversation
Trust teaches us to genuinely love people without turning them into projects. But genuine love does not mean that we never speak about the things that matter most.
Many Christians have rejected approaches to evangelism that felt forced, scripted, or manipulative. That is understandable. But we can sometimes move so far away from pressure that we become hesitant to have meaningful spiritual conversations at all.
Engage offers another way.
Authenticity works in both directions. We do not pretend to care about people in order to evangelize them, and we do not pretend that Jesus is unimportant to us in order to protect the relationship. If Jesus is genuinely part of our lives, there will be times when speaking about Him is simply part of an honest relationship.
“Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.”
1 Peter 3:15We do not need to force spiritual conversations. But we can learn to recognize openings, ask thoughtful questions, and speak naturally about the hope we have in Jesus.
Understand
From Everyday Conversation to Meaningful Conversation
Most conversations begin with ordinary life. We talk about work, family, health, children, relationships, plans, disappointments, celebrations, news, and the things happening around us.
Those conversations matter. Engage does not mean trying to escape everyday conversation so that we can get to something spiritual. Instead, we learn to pay attention to the deeper questions that often already exist within ordinary life.
A conversation about work may reveal a question about purpose. A conversation about loss may uncover questions about suffering. A conversation about a child may reveal hopes and fears about the future. A conversation about the state of the world may lead toward questions of meaning, goodness, God, or faith.
Engage means being willing to enter a meaningful conversation when an appropriate door begins to open.
Sometimes the other person opens that door. Sometimes we can gently open it with a thoughtful question. Either way, we do not need to control where the conversation goes.
Our task is simply to become attentive enough to notice the opening and courageous enough to enter it.
Notice
Listen for moments when ordinary conversation touches deeper questions about meaning, purpose, suffering, hope, faith, or God.
Ask
Use sincere questions to understand what the person thinks and feels rather than assuming you already know.
Share
When appropriate, speak naturally and honestly about your own experience, faith, the difference Jesus makes in your life, or part of the biblical story that connects with the conversation.
Release
Let the conversation develop naturally. You do not have to manufacture an outcome, finish everything you hoped to share, or take the conversation farther than the person is ready to go.
Opening the Conversation
A Good Question Can Open a Door
Engaging someone spiritually does not always begin with making a statement. Often it begins with asking a sincere question and then caring enough to hear the answer.
The best question is usually connected to the conversation you are already having. These are not scripts to memorize. They are examples of the kinds of questions that can help an ordinary conversation become more meaningful.
What has been giving you hope lately?
Has this experience changed the way you think about life?
Do you think there is a larger purpose behind all of this?
Has faith ever been an important part of your life?
What has shaped the way you think about God?
What do you think about Jesus?
The question should fit the relationship and the conversation. Asking about Jesus may be completely natural in one conversation and much too abrupt in another. Engage is not about learning the perfect question. It is about learning to pay attention.
A Story to Carry
Life From the Tree Can Help Us Enter the Biblical Story
Questions about purpose, meaning, God, suffering, Jesus, and life often connect naturally with the larger story Scripture tells. Life From the Tree is a simple way of learning that story so that we can carry it with us into real conversations.
The story follows a simple movement: God created us to receive life from Him. Humanity chose to seek life on our own. Access to the Tree of Life was lost. Jesus gave His life upon the cross to bring us back to God. And on the final pages of Scripture, the Tree of Life appears again as humanity lives in the presence of God.
Life offered → Our way chosen → Life lost → Cross → Life restored
Life From the Tree includes a simple drawing that can help us learn and share this story. But the goal is not to memorize a presentation. The goal is to know the biblical story well enough that we can talk about it naturally.
Sometimes a conversation about purpose may connect with the truth that life is received from God. A conversation about independence or control may connect with humanity’s desire to determine life for ourselves. A question about Jesus may open an opportunity to talk about the cross and the life He came to give.
The drawing is a way of learning the story. The biblical story is what we carry with us. You do not need paper or a pen for Life From the Tree to shape the way you talk about life, God, and Jesus.
When Drawing the Story Might Help
Sometimes the conversation itself may create an opportunity to show the whole story visually. Rather than suddenly beginning a presentation, simply ask permission.
“There is a really simple way I sometimes draw the story of the Bible. It only takes a couple of minutes. Would you mind if I showed you?”
If they are interested, draw the story with them. If they are not, continue the conversation. Permission keeps the moment relational and allows the other person to decide whether they want to explore further.
And even after you begin drawing, you do not have to finish. If the person asks a question, tells you something important, or the conversation moves in another direction, put down the pen and listen.
Finishing the drawing is never more important than listening to the person.
The complete Life From the Tree resource will teach you the story, the simple drawing, and how to use it naturally within a conversation.
Different Conversations
Not Everyone Needs the Same Conversation
The SEEK Scale helps us remember that people may be exploring very different questions.
Someone may simply be wondering whether there is more to life. Another person may be open to the possibility of God. Someone else may be exploring Christianity, becoming interested in Jesus, or considering whether to trust Him personally.
This matters for Engage because meaningful conversation begins where the other person actually is, not where we wish they were. Knowing the Life From the Tree story does not mean that we need to tell the entire story in every conversation. We listen for where the person’s actual questions may connect with it.
Do not begin with the conversation you want to have. Begin with the conversation the person is ready to have.
We will explore the SEEK Scale more fully in Listen and Lead. It is a listening framework, not an assessment of another person. For now, simply remember that spiritual conversations do not all need to begin or end in the same place.
When a Question Deserves More Time
Sometimes someone raises a question that deserves more space than the current conversation allows. SEEK is a free library of 27 articles exploring questions about life, meaning, God, faith, and Jesus. You can explore the library at WhatIsLifeAbout.org.
Rather than automatically sending someone to a homepage, listen for the question they are actually asking. If a particular article seems helpful, you might say, “I came across something about that question. Would you like me to send it to you?” If they say no, simply continue the relationship. If they say yes, share it and remain available to talk afterward.
Conversation first. Resource second. SEEK can support a conversation, but it should never replace genuine curiosity, listening, or friendship.
Courage
You Do Not Have to Stop Feeling Nervous
For many of us, the greatest barrier to Engage is not knowing what to say. It is the fear that entering a spiritual conversation might feel awkward, damage a relationship, or lead to a question we cannot answer.
Courage does not mean that those feelings disappear. Courage means we can take a small faithful step even when we feel uncertain.
“What if it feels awkward?”
Not every meaningful conversation will feel effortless. You can be sincere without being polished.
“What if I do not know the answer?”
You can simply say that you do not know. Honest curiosity can lead to exploring the question together.
“What if they are not interested?”
Respect their response. A conversation can stop without the relationship stopping.
“What if I say the wrong thing?”
Evangelism does not depend upon a flawless conversation. Listen, be humble, and trust God with what you cannot control.
“What if I cannot remember the whole story?”
You do not need to reproduce a script. Learn the movements of Life From the Tree and share whatever part naturally serves the conversation you are actually having.
“What if they interrupt while I am sharing?”
Let them. Their question or story is more important than finishing yours. Stop, listen, and follow the conversation.
Watch
Learning the Practice of Engage
In this short teaching, we will explore how ordinary conversations can naturally become meaningful conversations, how knowing the biblical story can help us recognize what we might share, and how to take a small step toward spiritual things without forcing the moment.
Engage: Enter the Conversation
Video teaching coming soonReflect
Think About Your Conversations
Consider the conversations you regularly have with people who do not currently follow Jesus. Think about what happens when those conversations begin moving toward deeper things.
When someone begins talking about deeper questions, do I notice the opening or tend to move back toward safer topics?
Am I comfortable asking sincere questions about meaning, faith, God, or spiritual things when they naturally fit the conversation?
Can I talk naturally about what Jesus means in my own life without feeling that I need to deliver a presentation?
Am I becoming familiar enough with the Life From the Tree story that I can recognize where someone’s questions might connect with the biblical story?
If sharing the Life From the Tree drawing seemed appropriate, would I be comfortable asking permission rather than assuming the person wanted to see it?
What fears most often keep me from entering a meaningful spiritual conversation?
Where might God be inviting me to become a little more courageous?
Practice
Take One Small Step
You do not need to create a spiritual conversation this week. Instead, practice becoming more attentive and a little more willing to enter one when an opening appears.
Your Practice
Look for one opportunity to move a conversation one step deeper.
Pray. Ask the Father to help you recognize meaningful openings in your conversations.
Notice. Listen for words about hope, fear, purpose, loss, meaning, faith, God, or questions about life.
Ask. When it feels appropriate, ask one sincere question that allows the person to go a little deeper.
Listen. Do not use the question merely as a bridge to what you want to say. Ask because you genuinely want to know the person, and be interested in their answer.
Share. If the conversation opens naturally, be willing to share something honest about your own faith, your experience with Jesus, or a part of the Life From the Tree story that genuinely connects with what the person has shared.
Ask Permission. If it seems that the complete Life From the Tree drawing might serve the conversation, simply ask whether the person would like to see it.
Release. Let the conversation end wherever it naturally ends. You are not responsible for finishing the story, completing the drawing, or forcing the next step.
A Simple Prayer
Father, help me pay attention to the people and conversations around me. Give me courage to enter meaningful conversations when You open the door. Help me ask good questions, listen well, and speak naturally about Jesus and the story of life You have given us in Scripture. Keep me from forcing the moment, and teach me to release the outcome to You. Amen.
The Practice of Engage
You Do Not Have to Force the Conversation
Meaningful spiritual conversations often grow from ordinary relationships and ordinary moments. Your responsibility is not to manufacture those moments. Learn to notice them, enter them with courage, and trust God with what happens next.
Life From the Tree gives you a biblical story to carry, but it does not tell you what must happen in every conversation. Sometimes you may draw the whole story. Sometimes you may share one part of it. Sometimes the most faithful thing you can do is ask another question and listen.
Notice the opening. Enter the conversation. Carry the story. Listen to the person.
If Engage was your recommended starting place, begin practicing what you have explored here. Your TELL journey will continue through the remaining practices in the order recommended by your assessment.