The Practice of Listen
Do Not Listen Only for Your Turn to Speak
Once a spiritual conversation begins, it can be tempting to start thinking about what we should say next. We may begin searching our memory for the right Bible verse, explanation, testimony, answer, or part of the biblical story we want to share.
But while we are preparing our response, we can stop hearing the person who is actually speaking.
TELL invites us into a different posture. Instead of approaching the conversation with a presentation we need to deliver, we become listeners.
“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
James 1:19Good listening asks two questions at the same time: What is this person really saying? And what might the Holy Spirit already be doing here?
Understand
The Practice of Double Listening
Listening in evangelism has two directions. We listen carefully to the person, and at the same time we remain quietly attentive to God.
Listen to the Person
What Are They Really Saying?
Listen to their words, but also pay attention to their story, experiences, questions, hopes, disappointments, assumptions, and concerns.
Ask follow-up questions. Resist the urge to correct every misunderstanding. Try to understand before deciding how you should respond.
Listen to the Spirit
What Might God Be Doing?
While listening to the person, remain quietly attentive to the Holy Spirit. Pray inwardly. Notice what seems important. Pay attention to where there may be openness, pain, curiosity, hunger, or an invitation to respond.
We are not trying to manufacture a spiritual impression. We are simply remaining available to God while giving the other person our full attention.
Listen to the person. Listen to the Spirit.
These are not competing activities. Listening well to another person can itself become part of our attentiveness to God.
A Different Posture
Father, What Are You Doing Here?
Evangelism changes when we begin with the possibility that God may already be at work before we enter the conversation.
We do not bring God into another person’s life. We do not have to create the spiritual moment. Instead, we learn to ask a quieter question:
Father, what are You doing in this person’s life, and how can I participate?
Sometimes that participation may involve speaking about Jesus. Sometimes it may involve sharing part of the Life From the Tree story, asking another question, praying with someone, sharing part of our own story, helping them explore a question, serving them in a practical way, or simply continuing to listen.
And sometimes the faithful response is to do nothing more in that moment.
Listening to the Spirit does not mean assuming that every thought or impression comes from God. We remain humble. We do not use spiritual language to pressure someone or claim certainty that God has told us something about them. We listen, discern, and respond with love.
Stay Curious
Understand the Question Behind the Question
Spiritual questions often carry a story behind them.
Someone who says, “I do not believe in God,” may be making a philosophical statement. But they may also be describing years of disappointment, an unanswered prayer, a painful church experience, or simply a life in which belief in God has never seemed relevant.
Someone who asks, “Why would God allow suffering?” may want a theological explanation. Or they may be grieving someone they love.
Before answering the words, try to understand the person.
Authentic listening means that understanding the person is not simply a technique for finding a better way to answer them. We listen because their story matters. Their questions deserve to be heard even when the conversation does not lead where we expected or hoped.
What makes you think about it that way?
Has that always been how you have thought about God?
Was there an experience that especially shaped that for you?
What is the hardest part of that question for you?
What do you wish were true?
You do not have to answer a question before you understand why the person is asking it.
Listening Within the Story
Listen for Where Their Story Touches the Biblical Story
Life From the Tree gives us a simple way of carrying the larger biblical story with us:
Life offered → Our way chosen → Life lost → Cross → Life restored
Knowing that story can help us recognize connections within a conversation. Someone may be trying to make life work entirely on their own. Someone may be wondering whether life has a source or purpose beyond themselves. Someone may believe in God but feel separated from Him. Someone may be confused about why Jesus matters. Someone else may be longing to know God personally.
Life From the Tree gives us a mental map for recognizing those connections. But the map does not tell us what to say next. Listening does.
Do not try to fit the person into the drawing. Listen to their actual story. The purpose of knowing the biblical story is not to categorize people. It is to help us recognize when something they are already saying may connect naturally with something God has revealed in Scripture.
This is one reason Life From the Tree and Double Listening work so naturally together. As we listen to the person, we may recognize where their questions or experiences touch the biblical story. At the same time, we remain attentive to the Holy Spirit:
Father, is there something in Your story that would serve this person right now?
The answer may be to share something. It may be to ask another question. It may be to return to something they said earlier. It may be to offer prayer. Or it may be to simply keep listening.
Know the story well enough to carry it. Listen well enough to know what part of the story may serve this person.
If you begin drawing Life From the Tree and the person asks a question or shares something meaningful, stop drawing. The person’s story has become more important than finishing yours.
A Listening Framework
The SEEK Scale
People can be at very different places in their journey toward Jesus. The SEEK Scale gives us a simple framework for recognizing some of those differences.
It is loosely based on the Engel Scale, but it is designed for the way we are learning to practice evangelism through TELL.
Life Unexamined
Spiritual questions have little relevance. God, faith, meaning, and spiritual matters are rarely considered.
Life Questions Emerging
Questions about meaning, purpose, identity, suffering, relationships, mortality, or significance begin to surface.
Open to Something More
There is a growing sense that life may involve more than what is immediately visible or material.
Open to God
The possibility that God exists feels worth considering, even while questions or doubts remain.
Exploring Faith
Curiosity develops around spiritual belief, prayer, faith, or the possibility of relationship with God.
Exploring Christianity
Christianity becomes a meaningful possibility worth investigating.
Interested in Jesus
Attention turns more specifically toward Jesus: who He was, what He taught, and why He is central to Christianity.
Considering Jesus Personally
The question begins moving from “Who is Jesus?” toward “What might Jesus mean for me?”
Considering Trust
There is enough understanding of the invitation of Jesus to begin seriously considering personal trust, even though questions or fears may remain.
Ready to Respond
The person appears ready to place trust in Jesus and may need clarity, encouragement, prayer, or simply the freedom to respond.
Trusting Jesus
A personal response of faith: placing trust in Jesus and beginning life with Him.
Beginning to Follow
Learning what it means to follow Jesus in everyday life.
Becoming Rooted
Developing foundational rhythms of Scripture, prayer, Christian community, worship, and dependence upon the Holy Spirit.
Growing in Christ
Faith increasingly shapes character, relationships, priorities, choices, and daily life.
Participating in the Kingdom
Discovering gifts, calling, service, generosity, and opportunities to participate in what God is doing.
Helping Others Follow Jesus
Following Jesus increasingly includes loving, serving, listening to, and helping others take their own next steps.
The Most Important Principle
The goal is not to move someone as far as possible. The goal is to faithfully help someone take the next step God may already be inviting them to take.
Using the SEEK Scale
Listen for Direction, Not a Number
You do not need to decide that someone is a “minus seven” or a “minus three.” In fact, doing that could cause us to stop listening to the actual person.
Instead, use the SEEK Scale to help you notice the kinds of questions they seem to be exploring.
Listen For
Life and Meaning
Are they wrestling with purpose, identity, suffering, hope, relationships, mortality, or whether there is something more?
Listen For
God and Faith
Are they becoming curious about God, prayer, spiritual things, belief, or what faith might mean?
Listen For
Christianity and Jesus
Are their questions becoming more specifically focused on Christianity, Jesus, His teaching, or what it means to trust Him?
Listen For
Following Jesus
Have they begun trusting Jesus and now need help learning, growing, becoming rooted, serving, or helping others?
Life From the Tree helps us carry the biblical story. The SEEK Scale helps us recognize how far a conversation might appropriately go. The person’s actual question helps us understand what the conversation should be about.
None of these frameworks replaces listening. They simply help us become more attentive. The person in front of us is always more important than our ability to identify where they might be in a framework.
Let the Question Guide the Resource
The SEEK library is a companion to TELL, not a way to categorize people. First listen for what the person is asking and why it matters. A question about suffering, for example, may be an intellectual concern or may come from a painful personal experience. Those conversations call for different responses.
Listen first. Offer, do not assign. If an article would be helpful, you might ask, “Would you like me to send you something about that question?” If they are interested, choose a question that fits their concern and remain available to continue the conversation.
The Freedom of Humility
“I Do Not Know” Can Be a Good Answer
Listening becomes difficult when we believe we are responsible for having an answer to every question.
You are not.
Knowing the Life From the Tree story does not mean that we suddenly have an answer for every question someone may ask. It gives us a framework for understanding the biblical story, not a script for answering every concern.
If someone asks something you do not know how to answer, honesty is better than pretending. You can say:
“That is a really good question. I do not know.”
“I have wondered about that too.”
“I am not sure I can give you a good answer right now.”
“Would you be interested in exploring that together?”
Sometimes the willingness to explore a question together creates a better conversation than having an immediate answer would have.
SEEK offers a library of 27 questions about life, meaning, God, Christianity, and Jesus. When a person wants to explore a question further, you can offer to read a relevant article together or share it for them to consider privately. It is one possible resource, not a substitute for listening or for a genuine relationship.
Watch
Learning the Practice of Listen
In this short teaching, we will explore double listening: learning to hear the person in front of us while remaining quietly attentive to what the Holy Spirit may already be doing. We will also consider how knowing the biblical story can help us recognize meaningful connections without allowing our framework to replace the person.
Listen: Listen to the Person. Listen to the Spirit.
Video teaching coming soonReflect
Think About How You Listen
Think about recent conversations in which someone shared something personal, spiritual, or difficult with you.
Do I listen to understand, or am I often preparing my response while the other person is still speaking?
Do I ask follow-up questions that help me understand the person’s story behind their beliefs and questions?
Can I allow a spiritual conversation to go somewhere I did not expect?
Am I comfortable saying “I do not know” when I genuinely do not know?
While I am listening to someone, am I also quietly attentive to what the Holy Spirit may be doing?
Do I tend to move people toward the conversation I want to have, or am I willing to begin with the questions they are actually asking?
Can I recognize where someone’s questions or experiences may connect with the Life From the Tree story without trying to force them into the framework?
If I begin sharing or drawing the biblical story, am I willing to stop immediately when the person says something that needs to be heard?
Practice
Practice Double Listening
This week, choose one conversation in which your primary goal is not to explain, persuade, finish a story, or move the conversation forward.
Practice listening because the person and their story genuinely matter.
Your Practice
Give one person your full attention.
Pray. Before the conversation, quietly ask: “Father, help me see and hear this person well.”
Listen. Pay attention to their actual words rather than preparing what you want to say next.
Ask. Use at least one sincere follow-up question before offering your own response.
Notice. What questions, hopes, hurts, or spiritual openness seem to be beneath the conversation? Where, if anywhere, might their story naturally touch the larger biblical story you have learned through Life From the Tree?
Attend. Quietly remain open to what the Holy Spirit may be drawing your attention toward. Ask, “Father, is there something in Your story that would serve this person right now?”
Respond. If something seems appropriate, respond simply. Share a thought, ask another question, offer prayer, or share part of the biblical story. You do not need to say everything you know.
Release. Do not feel that you must take the conversation somewhere. Let listening itself be enough when that is what the moment requires.
A Simple Prayer
Father, teach me to listen. Help me hear the person in front of me rather than simply preparing what I want to say. Help me carry Your story without feeling that I must force it into every conversation. Holy Spirit, make me attentive to what You may already be doing. Give me humility, patience, discernment, and love. Show me how to participate faithfully in what You are doing. Amen.
The Practice of Listen
Pay Attention Before You Decide What Comes Next
You do not need to know where every conversation is going. Life From the Tree gives you a biblical story to carry. The SEEK Scale can help you recognize the kinds of questions a person may be exploring. But neither one can tell you what this particular person needs in this particular moment.
Listen carefully to the person. Remain attentive to the Spirit. Trust that God is capable of working in ways you cannot see and on a timetable you cannot control.
Know the story. Listen to the person. Listen to the Spirit.
If Listen was your recommended starting place, begin practicing what you have explored here. Your TELL journey will continue through the remaining practices in the order recommended by your assessment.