The Practice of Lead
Invitation Without Pressure
There comes a point when listening may lead to an invitation. Someone may be ready to explore a question, hear more of the biblical story, pray together, talk again, learn more about Jesus, or place their trust in Him.
This is where Lead becomes important.
Some Christians hesitate here because they do not want to become pushy. Others have learned forms of evangelism that make them feel responsible for bringing every spiritual conversation to a decision.
TELL offers another way.
Authenticity means we neither pressure someone toward a response nor avoid an appropriate invitation because we are afraid of being misunderstood. If someone appears ready for a next step, love can be clear enough to ask. The invitation can be genuine while the response remains completely free.
“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.”
Matthew 4:19Lead means offering a faithful invitation while leaving the other person free to respond.
Understand
Leading Is Not Controlling
We cannot produce faith in another person. We cannot control their response, determine their timing, or make spiritual growth happen.
Our responsibility is much simpler.
We can love. We can speak. We can listen. We can discern. And when an appropriate opportunity appears, we can offer a next step.
Lead means helping someone recognize and consider an appropriate next step toward Jesus without trying to control whether they take it.
Recognize
Pay attention to where the person seems to be, what questions they are asking, and what God may already be doing.
Discern
Consider what one helpful next step might be rather than trying to move the person farther than they are ready to go.
Invite
Offer the next step clearly and naturally. Give the person genuine freedom to say yes, no, or not yet.
Release
Trust God with the response. Your faithfulness is not measured by whether another person does what you hoped they would do.
One Faithful Step
The Next Step Is Not Always the Same Step
If someone is wondering whether life has meaning, asking them to make a decision about Jesus may be several conversations ahead of where they actually are.
If someone is already asking, “How can I begin following Jesus?” simply giving them another resource to explore may not go far enough.
Faithful leadership begins with the person in front of us.
The TELL Principle
The goal is not to move someone as far as possible. The goal is to faithfully help someone take the next step God may already be inviting them to take.
That next step may seem very small. But movement toward greater openness, understanding, trust, or faithfulness matters.
A Biblical Story to Carry
Life From the Tree Helps Us Share the Larger Story
In Engage, we learned that Life From the Tree gives us a simple way to understand and carry the larger biblical story. In Listen, we learned to pay attention to where another person’s questions and experiences may touch that story.
In Lead, those pieces come together.
Know the story well enough to share it. Listen well enough to know what part of the story may serve this person.
Life From the Tree follows a simple movement:
Life From the Tree
Life offered → Our way chosen → Life lost → Cross → Life restored
Sometimes a person may benefit from hearing only one part of that story. At other times, the conversation may create an opportunity to share the whole story, perhaps using the simple Life From the Tree drawing.
If the whole story is shared, one of the most helpful things we can do afterward is not to keep explaining. Instead, put down the pen and ask a simple question:
Where do you think you are in this story?
Then listen.
Their answer may tell you far more than another several minutes of explanation. They may identify with trying to find life on their own. They may tell you they are unsure whether they believe in God. They may be interested in Jesus but uncertain about the cross. They may recognize a desire for life with God. Or they may simply say that they do not know.
“Where do you think you are in this story?” is not a closing technique. It is an invitation for the other person to reflect and speak. Their answer does not give us permission to pressure them toward the next part of the drawing. It gives us another opportunity to listen.
This is where Double Listening continues. Listen carefully to what the person says while quietly asking:
Father, what are You doing in this person’s life, and how can I participate?
What comes next depends upon the person and the moment. It may be another question. It may be talking more about Jesus. It may be prayer. It may be exploring Scripture together. It may be offering a resource. It may be an invitation to trust Jesus. Or it may be simply continuing the relationship and conversation.
Life From the Tree does not tell us what the next step must be. It helps us carry the biblical story. Listening helps us discern what part of that story, if any, may serve the person now.
The drawing gets us to the conversation. It does not replace the conversation.
Using the SEEK Scale
From Listening to a Next Step
In Listen, we introduced the SEEK Scale as a framework for understanding the different places people may be in their spiritual journey.
The scale does not tell us what to do with a person. It simply reminds us that people may be exploring very different questions and may be ready for very different next steps. It is a listening framework, not a quiz or assessment given to SEEK visitors.
In Lead, we use that understanding to ask a practical question:
What might be one appropriate next step for this person?
The examples below are possibilities, not formulas. The same person may need something different depending upon their story, questions, relationships, and circumstances.
Remember: you do not need to assign someone a number. Listen for the kinds of questions they are asking, consider what they may be ready to explore, and offer a step that fits the person rather than the scale.
Making the Invitation
Offer. Do Not Pressure.
A next step is an invitation, not a demand.
Often the invitation can be simple and conversational.
“Would you like to talk about that again sometime?”
“Would it be okay if I prayed for you about that?”
“Would you be interested in looking at what Jesus said about that?”
“There is a really simple way I sometimes draw the story of the Bible. Would you mind if I showed you?”
“There is something that might help you explore that question further. Would you like me to send it to you?”
“Would you like to read one of the Gospels together and talk about what you think?”
“It sounds like you may be ready to trust Jesus. Would you like to talk about what that could look like?”
A good invitation is clear enough to respond to and free enough to decline.
When SEEK Can Help
A Resource for Further Exploration
Not every next step requires another conversation immediately. Sometimes a person may want time and space to explore a question privately. This is where SEEK can be especially helpful.
SEEK is now a free library of 27 questions at WhatIsLifeAbout.org. People can explore questions about life, meaning, God, faith, Christianity, and Jesus at their own pace, without pressure.
Life From the Tree gives us a biblical story we can know and share ourselves. SEEK has a different role. It provides additional resources when someone would benefit from continuing to explore a particular question. Rather than sending someone to a general website, look for the particular question that fits what they are actually asking.
For example, if someone is wondering whether science and faith can fit together, you might say, “There is a short article about that question. Would you like me to send it to you?” If they say yes, share the article and leave room to continue the conversation later.
Browse the SEEK Question Library →
SEEK May Help When
- The person wants time to explore privately.
- A particular page fits a question they are already asking.
- You do not know the answer and want to explore together.
- A resource could continue a conversation between meetings.
- You intend to follow up afterward.
Do Not Use SEEK To
- Escape a conversation that feels uncomfortable.
- Replace sharing the biblical story when you can share it yourself.
- Replace listening with sending a link.
- Avoid honestly saying, “I do not know.”
- Hand the relationship over to a website.
- Pressure someone into going farther than they are ready.
The relationship continues. If you share a SEEK resource, follow up naturally. Ask what they thought, what stood out, what questions remain, or whether they would like to keep exploring together.
When Someone Is Ready
Do Not Be Afraid to Talk About Jesus
Avoiding pressure does not mean avoiding clarity.
There may be moments when someone has moved beyond general spiritual curiosity. They understand something of who Jesus is, recognize their need for Him, and appear ready to respond.
Life From the Tree may have helped them see that the biblical story is not simply about trying harder to live a better life. Life comes from God. Humanity chose life on our own. Jesus gave His life to bring us back to God. Through Him, life with God is offered again.
When someone recognizes that invitation personally, we do not need to manipulate the moment or create emotional pressure. We can simply help them understand the invitation of Jesus and give them room to respond.
You might ask:
“It sounds like you are seriously considering trusting Jesus. Is that something you would like to do?”
If they say yes, stay with them. Pray together. Help them express their trust in Jesus honestly. Then continue walking with them as they begin learning what it means to receive life from Him and follow Him.
If they say no or not yet, continue loving them. Their answer does not make the conversation a failure, and it does not make the relationship less valuable. Our care for them was never dependent upon the response we hoped they would make.
Release the Outcome
Faithfulness Is Ours. The Outcome Is God’s.
One of the greatest freedoms in evangelism comes when we understand that we are participants in God’s work, not managers of another person’s spiritual journey.
Love genuinely.
Enter the conversation.
Carry the biblical story.
Listen carefully.
Offer a faithful next step.
We cannot make someone believe.
We can trust the Father, remain attentive to the Spirit, and faithfully point toward Jesus.
Watch
Learning the Practice of Lead
In this short teaching, we will explore how Life From the Tree, Double Listening, and the TELL practice of Lead work together to help us recognize and offer an appropriate next step without pressure, manipulation, or taking responsibility for another person’s response.
Lead: Help Someone Take Their Next Step
Video teaching coming soonReflect
Think About How You Lead
Think about the spiritual conversations you have had and the ways you respond when an opportunity for a next step appears.
Do I sometimes assume that every spiritual conversation should move toward the same outcome?
Can I recognize meaningful spiritual movement even when someone is not ready to trust Jesus?
Do I know the Life From the Tree story well enough to share it naturally without feeling that I must deliver a presentation?
If I share Life From the Tree, can I ask “Where do you think you are in this story?” and then genuinely stop and listen?
Am I willing to clearly offer a next step when someone seems ready for one?
Does my desire not to pressure people sometimes cause me to avoid making an appropriate invitation?
Can I give someone genuine freedom to say no or not yet without feeling that I have failed?
Am I willing to trust God with a person’s journey after I have faithfully done what I believe He invited me to do?
Practice
Practice Offering One Next Step
Think about one person with whom you already have an ongoing relationship or spiritual conversation.
Do not begin by deciding where you want them to end up. Begin by listening again.
Your Practice
Consider one faithful next step.
Pray. Ask, “Father, what are You doing in this person’s life, and how can I participate?”
Remember. Think about what the person has actually shared rather than what you wish they had said.
Listen. Consider where their actual questions and experiences may connect with the Life From the Tree story. Do not force a connection that is not there.
Discern. Consider the broad journey represented by the SEEK Scale and ask what this person may genuinely be ready to explore.
Choose. Identify one next step that seems appropriate rather than several things you want them to do.
Offer. When the opportunity is appropriate, make the invitation simply and clearly.
Release. Give them freedom to respond and trust God with what happens next.
A Simple Prayer
Father, help me recognize what You may already be doing in the lives of the people around me. Help me know Your story well enough to share it naturally and listen carefully enough to know what may serve the person in front of me. Give me wisdom to know when to speak, courage to offer an invitation, and humility to release the outcome to You. Holy Spirit, help me participate faithfully in Your work and point people toward Jesus with love, gentleness, and respect. Amen.
TELL
Four Practices. One Way of Life.
TELL is not a script for a single conversation. It is a way of practicing authentic evangelism by learning to live attentively among people God loves.
Trust
Love people genuinely, not as projects.
Engage
Courageously enter meaningful spiritual conversations.
Listen
Listen carefully to the person and attentively to the Spirit.
Lead
Offer an appropriate next step toward Jesus without pressure.
We genuinely love people. We genuinely follow Jesus. Both are true at the same time.
We are learning to love people genuinely, carry the biblical story, pay attention to people, pay attention to the Spirit, and faithfully participate in what God is doing.
The Practice of Lead
Offer the Next Step. Trust God With the Journey.
You are not responsible for moving someone through an entire spiritual journey. Love them well. Enter the conversation. Carry the biblical story. Listen carefully. And when the moment is right, faithfully offer the next step.
Know the story. Listen well. Offer the invitation. Release the outcome.
If Lead was your recommended starting place, begin practicing what you have explored here. Your TELL journey will continue through the remaining practices in the order recommended by your assessment.